A quote by Robert Frost.
Very fitting for today and the thoughts that have been floating around in this crazy, unpredictable mind I have!
It is quite simple isn't it? No matter what. No matter how big or how small. LIFE GOES ON. Chaos, hurt, fear, pain, love, laughter, miracles... these things effect each of us differently but at the end of the day, life goes on no matter how you feel. If I pray for the war to end, and the poor child in Iraq is praying for it to continue so he can walk his streets freely one day, who's prayer does God answer?
Even if a person selfishly ends their own life, no matter how much hurt they leave behind, no matter how much we think we can't go on or how we don't think we can bare the pain... eventually Life does go on.
The tragedy of Katrina and Rita, the tragedy of the tsunami, the tragedy of the earth quake in Haiti. We all feel it, it's raw right now but next week, it won't so raw. Next week the news will turn back to Tiger Woods or some other "none of our business" senseless media and the real tragedies won't be so tragic anymore, at least not for everyone like it is right now. Because life does go on, people turn the TV off, switch the radio station and go on about everyday life.
It's not all negative though. I don't mean that. It's a blessing that life goes on. The mistake I make today can be wiped away tomorrow. The fact that life does go on is a chance to start over, a chance to be better.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Little sister
It'll probably take years before you understand where I come from, why I am the way I am, why I drive you crazy and why I do the the things I do. It's not easy to explain the way I feel about you... I want so badly to see you happy and successful and I don't mean successful in the materialistic sense of the word. I want you to succeed in whatever you do. I want you to have every opportunity that life has to offer. I never want you to settle or take the easy way out. I want you to have all of the confidence in yourself that I have in you, I want you to go feet first into every turn your path offers up. I suppose that now that I have children my own, my feelings for you are much like that of a mothers for her child. Our age difference allows more room that feeling as opposed to the typical love/hate relationship most siblings share.
When it comes to being a big sister I seem to have a very bad case of "open mouth, insert foot" syndrome. I have this problem in general but it seems to really shine when it comes to my ability to play the big sister role.
Although I went through most of nearly 10 years ago it still feels like yesterday but I've gone through most of what you're encountering now. I've seen the excitement, the confusion, the hurt, the love, the pain, the adventures, the lust, the struggle, the lack of faith, the yearning to fit in. I've seen and felt it all to the absolute core. So in addition to my OMIF syndrome, I also have a case of "been there, done that - now let me tell you all about it and spare you the pain" which often equates to a whole lot of me talking and you silently wishing I would shut up and save it for someone else! Believe it or not, I do understand. Half the time I wish I could shut me up too. BUT... I do want to spare you all of the bad parts even when I know that the bad parts are what make us stronger and help us to grow.
I can't promise never to give my opinion again. Hell, I did that recently and just this afternoon there I went trying to insert help into your life again. I even caught myself mid-sentence and still couldn't stop myself. It was like I was mentally kicking myself in the butt and still, I just had to keep going. Again, I can't promise to keep my mouth shut but I can promise to try and I can promise you that no matter how much I mess up, no matter much I drive you crazy, I really never mean to hurt you. My lectures and/or speeches are not meant to hurt you, they're not even meant to tell you how to live your life. They are simply me trying to help you and when possible guide down the path with the least amount of unneccesary hurt.
At the end of the day, the end of every day I love you for who you are. I love you when make "stupid" decisions, I love you when you make great decision. I love you when you succeed and when you fail. I love your faults and I love your flaws. I love everything there is to love about you, good and bad. And just so you know, the good and the great, the beautiful and the caring in you all outweigh the flaws. You are an amazing little sister whom I will always admire more than words will be able to express.
Your strong will and stubborness drive me crazy but I love you. Your heart of gold is my weakness.
So at the end of today I am thanking God for you. I am thanking Mom and Dad for you.
I love you little sister...
Love, Sissy
When it comes to being a big sister I seem to have a very bad case of "open mouth, insert foot" syndrome. I have this problem in general but it seems to really shine when it comes to my ability to play the big sister role.
Although I went through most of nearly 10 years ago it still feels like yesterday but I've gone through most of what you're encountering now. I've seen the excitement, the confusion, the hurt, the love, the pain, the adventures, the lust, the struggle, the lack of faith, the yearning to fit in. I've seen and felt it all to the absolute core. So in addition to my OMIF syndrome, I also have a case of "been there, done that - now let me tell you all about it and spare you the pain" which often equates to a whole lot of me talking and you silently wishing I would shut up and save it for someone else! Believe it or not, I do understand. Half the time I wish I could shut me up too. BUT... I do want to spare you all of the bad parts even when I know that the bad parts are what make us stronger and help us to grow.
I can't promise never to give my opinion again. Hell, I did that recently and just this afternoon there I went trying to insert help into your life again. I even caught myself mid-sentence and still couldn't stop myself. It was like I was mentally kicking myself in the butt and still, I just had to keep going. Again, I can't promise to keep my mouth shut but I can promise to try and I can promise you that no matter how much I mess up, no matter much I drive you crazy, I really never mean to hurt you. My lectures and/or speeches are not meant to hurt you, they're not even meant to tell you how to live your life. They are simply me trying to help you and when possible guide down the path with the least amount of unneccesary hurt.
At the end of the day, the end of every day I love you for who you are. I love you when make "stupid" decisions, I love you when you make great decision. I love you when you succeed and when you fail. I love your faults and I love your flaws. I love everything there is to love about you, good and bad. And just so you know, the good and the great, the beautiful and the caring in you all outweigh the flaws. You are an amazing little sister whom I will always admire more than words will be able to express.
Your strong will and stubborness drive me crazy but I love you. Your heart of gold is my weakness.
So at the end of today I am thanking God for you. I am thanking Mom and Dad for you.
I love you little sister...
Love, Sissy
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